Last weekend I was updating my best friend on some great opportunities that I have been pursuing at UC San Diego when his dad said he needed some of my "Emily luck". At first I laughed, but later I began to question why others perceived me as being a "lucky" person. I always appreciate the opportunities I receive, but I've never considered myself to be unusually lucky. I began to question what defines a person's perception of luck. Is there a way for someone to become luckier than others?
I had a surf instructor who told me that the only way for me to get better at surfing was to try to catch the waves that seemed too big for me to handle. The last thing I wanted to do on my second week of surf lessons was purposely allow myself to be bombarded by massive walls of water. However, the only way for me to catch a lot of big waves was to put myself out among the big waves. Some may say it's luck to catch the perfect wave at the perfect time, but you have to get in the water before you can be somewhere at the perfect time. It's not luck, but the willingness to constantly put yourself in a place of vulnerability that allows you to catch that perfect wave.
Allow yourself to be vulnerable. You have to do it. It's scary. It's intimidating. It may give you some anxiety. But it is absolutely necessary.
Willingness to be vulnerable is the single most important factor in achieving one's goals. If you don't let yourself go where the waves are, you are very likely to miss your opportunity to catch one; if you constantly live in comfort, you will never grow. Reflecting on what I have accomplished during the past three years, I realized that the successes others had attributed to me being lucky actually happened because I live in a constant state of vulnerability.
"But what happens if I fail?" Nothing. Literally nothing bad happens if you fail. What happens if you try to catch a wave but fall? You land in water. Then you get back on your board and try again, growing and learning from your previous fall.
"But what if people judge me?" Have you ever watched people surf? If you have, you've probably seen hundreds of surfers try to catch a wave and fall off their boards right away. Maybe you giggle at somebody's crazy wipe out, but you don't think of them differently as a person. The fact is that it's impossible to judge a surfer for not catching a wave when all you're doing is sitting in the sand. People cannot judge you for trying something they're not willing to do themselves.
Why do we fear vulnerability? Because we fear rejection. Why do we fear rejection? Because we constantly worry that what we do or say will change the ways others perceive us. We dread letting someone else--family or strangers alike--judge our innermost thoughts and desires.
Nobody wants to carry the memory of an embarrassing moment, yet we all have them. You know those moments that we replay over and over in our heads for weeks, months, or years on end? The truth is, the person on the other side of that interaction probably only thought about it for an hour at most. Your embarrassment escapes their mind relatively quickly, so why not let it escape yours? People are afraid to be vulnerable because they fear the long-lasting emotional impact of rejection, yet embarrassment only lasts as long as you allow it to persist in your mind.
Therefore, I dispel the emphasis of luck leading to success. Achieving your goals is not about exhausting yourself through endless hours of work, having a lot of money, or having the most followers on social media. It's about admitting that you are human and allowing yourself to be okay with feeling uncomfortable. Success is not about being in the right place at the right time, but rather making every moment the right place and the right time. When you push your limits on a daily basis, you will surprise yourself.
So apply for that lab position you don't think you're qualified for. Ask your cute classmate on a date. Email the professionals you want to be like. Share the ideas you never thought were worthwhile.
Get on your surf board! Seek that wave you think you can't handle, and simply see where it takes you.
